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Recent Articles By Ben Westhoff

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  • The Pitch
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    By Justin Kendall
  • Westword
    The Good Soldier

    When the Army tried to take down Andrew Pogany, they messed with the wrong coward.

    By Joel Warner

As he cleans up, Thomassen says he's 90 to 95 percent certain Cecily will get pregnant -- about the same likelihood as if she'd copulated wolf-style. Bauman, meanwhile, is extracting a fecal sample to discern whether they've caught the wolf at the right stage of ovulation. The feces are flecked with red beads, which were mixed with her food in order to identify which dung is hers. Some yellow beads are present as well -- an indication she's been eating another wolf's feces, Bauman says. More giggles.

But the fun is cut short a few minutes later, when Bauman takes a break to find out whether she's within range to check her voicemail.

"Frijole's in heat!" she announces.

It takes but a moment for Asa to decide they'll drive back to St. Louis right away, despite the snowy roads and the fact that it'll take all night to get home. This is the one time during the year that Frijole will be in heat, and she'll stay that way for only four days at most.

The bad news back home: Frijole has been copulating with her mate Alano, for days. Repeatedly. Uncontracepted. The kind of copulation that will almost assuredly get her pregnant.

That's the bad news. The good news is that wolves give birth in litters, not individually. Odds are good that Frijole will have more than one pup, and those pups could have different fathers. Which means there's still room for Dude.

Asa wields her probe once more. Dude produces cloudy semen (just the way Bauman likes it). A month later, an ultrasound indicates that Frijole is pregnant. A wolf's gestation period is about 60 days; she's due to give birth this week or next.

Asa is pleased with the way Thomassen's visit went. Besides Frijole, the center managed to successfully artificially inseminate two other Mexican grays, which are due to give birth soon. Additionally, the species' numbers were upped earlier this month at the center when two Mexican grays that had been impregnated naturally spawned eighteen pups between them.

Without a trace of irony, the expert sums up this year's mating season: "Wolves have much better sperm than humans."

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