News

Unreal News Challenge 2005!

Time again to take the year-end quiz

By Randall Roberts 

1. "We handle extreme high-rollers from around the world in an extremely special manner," said Lonnie Hanover, spokesman for Scores. Which local high-roller spent $241,000 in one night at the New York City strip club?

A. August Busch IV of Anheuser-Busch.
B. Bryce Rutter of Metaphase Design.
C. Robert McCormick of Savvis, Inc.
D. Abraham Nuñez.

2. What will you find in Al Hrabosky's Ballpark Saloon?

A. A professional Bud Pong table.
B. A one-way mirror in the men's room that overlooks the line into the ladies' room.
C. Free Jäger shots when Hrabosky's in da house.
D. Pre-game, all-you-can-eat, Hungarian food.

3. Missouri Republican Party chairwoman Ann Wagner accepted an appointment from President Bush to fill what role in his administration?

A. Leak-prevention czar. B. U.S. Ambassador to Luxembourg.
C. Tutor to Harriet Miers.
D. Executive torture chamber designer.

4. To what was Republican state senator Jason Crowell referring when, on the House floor, he asked, "Is that human organism Frankenstein, or does it have a soul?"

A. A cloned stem cell.
B. Gubernatorial candidate Claire McCaskill.
C. A first-trimester fetus.
D. Matt and Melanie Blunt's first-born.

5. What is the name of St. Louis rockers Story of the Year's most recent album?

A. In the Wake of Determination.
B. The Power in the Palm of Your Hands.
C. The Neverending, Everenduring Pain.
D. Forever We Shall Forge Forth.

6. What department store will replace Famous-Barr's downtown flagship? A. Dillard's.
B. Macy's.
C. Bloomingdale's.
D. Globe Drugs.

7. St. Louis-based Monsanto bought agriculture giant Seminis Inc. for $1 billion. What is one of Seminis' innovations?

A. Orange cauliflower.
B. Purple potatoes.
C. Yellow cucumbers.
D. Pink ponies.

8. In a between-innings conversation, what question from Cardinals announcer Mike Shannon silenced U.S. House member Russ Carnahan?

A. "Is your mom still single?"
B. "How's your wife Robin?"
C. "Have you come out of the closet yet?"
D. "How's your dad?"

9. Which band did Tony La Russa not see during his November post-season rock binge?

A. Jethro Tull.
B. U2.
C. The Ying Yang Twins.
D. The Moody Blues.

10. Central West End business Dazor Manufacturing Corp. makes a product called speckFINDER. What is it?

A. A high-powered mini-vacuum.
B. A state-of-the-art airport-security screening device.
C. A device used on CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
D. A search engine with double the Web-crawling capacity of Google.

11. Which St. Louis city alderman was not the subject of a recall attempt in 2005?

A. Peggy Ryan.
B. Tom Bauer.
C. Freeman Bosley Sr.
D. Abraham Nuñez.

12. What is the name of the St. Louis-based Build-A-Bear Workshop's new offshoot store?

A. Friends2BMade.
B. Partners4Ever.
C. IWouldDie4U.
D. Dear2UDolls.

13. To find one of these, said Governor Matt Blunt during a February speech, "You have to go places no one wants to live anymore." He was referring to what?

A. An Applebee's.
B. A Democrat.
C. A zoo.
D. A cheap piece of ass.

14. Paris Hilton appeared in a steamy advertisement for St. Louis-based Hardee's restaurant. What kind of burger was she eating?

A. Grilled Sourdough Thickburger.
B. Double Furburger with Gorgonzola.
C. Spicy BBQ Six Dollar Burger.
D. Sextuple Extrathickburger with Pork-and-Chipotle Lard.

15. The Illinois state legislature approved what new tool for fighting the war on crystal meth?

A. Two-pack maximum purchase for some cold medicines.
B. Scratch-and-sniff card that smells like anhydrous ammonia.
C. Electronic nose that sniffs out meth-makers.
D. Crack.

16. Which team was not in the 2005 NCAA Final Four basketball tournament at the Edward Jones Dome?

A. Illinois.
B. North Carolina.
C. Louisville.
D. Duke.

17. With whom did Nelly not collaborate this year?

A. Mike Jones.
B. Paul Wall.
C. Jung Tru.
D. Young Jeezy.

18. Who is Aloha Mischeaux's father?

A. Alderman Freeman Bosley Sr.
B. Former mayor Freeman Bosley Jr.
C. Ex-Cardinal Ozzie Smith.
D. Don Ho.

19. In a radio interview during his campaign for St. Louis mayor, Green Party candidate Willie Marshall advocated which policy?

A. A tree-planting drive to reduce greenhouse gases.
B. An across-the-board, 40 percent Metro fare cut.
C. I.D. bracelets for the HIV-infected.
D. The decriminalization of possessing small amounts of marijuana.

20. Who pitched the final out at Busch Stadium?

A. Roy Oswalt.
B. Jason Isringhausen.
C. Chris Carpenter.
D. Dan Wheeler.

21. How soon can members of the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department live outside the city's boundaries?

A. As soon as humanly possible.
B. After three years of service.
C. After five years of service.
D. After seven years of service.

22. When Brett Hull retired five games into this season, for which team was he playing?

A. Phoenix Coyotes.
B. St. Louis Blues.
C. Dallas Stars.
D. Edmonton Oilers.

23. What is the new city slogan concocted by the St. Louis Regional Chamber and Growth Association?

A. St. Louis: Fat and Getting Phatter.
B. St. Louis: Winner of Bronze Star for Violent Crime.
C. St. Louis: Perfectly Centered. Remarkably Connected.
D. Don't Screw With the Lou.

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