News

Unreal News Challenge 2007

Continued from page 2

Match the municipality with its recently enacted law:
28) Pine Lawn. B
29) Valley Park. C
30) Fairview Heights. A
A) No spitting.
B) No sagging.
C) No renting to illegal aliens.

31) Who is this man, and why is his nose all busted up?

A) John Westerhosen, a convicted rustler who was injured in September while trying to steal cattle that had escaped from an overturned truck in downtown St. Louis.
B) Terry McGruder, a member of the Streetfighterz motorcycle gang who crashed his rice burner while doing a wheelie on the Chain of Rocks Bridge.
C) David Gaulden, owner of R-Place Bar & Grill in House Springs, the day after a gang of off-duty Jefferson County deputies allegedly assaulted him in his own bar.
D) Justin Patizius-Leslie, the man who was beaten up by an exotic dancer after refusing to pay her the agreed-upon price for sex.

32) What is the name of the new baby elephant at the Saint Louis Zoo?
A) Suzie.
B) Daddy's Little Fatty.
C) Jade.
D) Clytemnestra.

33) Which new product did Anheuser-Busch not release during this past year?
A) Spykes, a malt beverage that comes in flavors such as Spicy Lime and Hot Melons and is intended as a mixer.
B) Chelada, a can of traditional Budweiser that has been mixed with Clamato, a tomato-and-clam juice.
C) Poundz, a malt liquor that contains 17 percent alcohol and whose can carries the likeness of a pit bull.
D) All of the above.

34) What is the Miss Rockaway Armada?
A) A Ramones tribute band.
B) An ill-fated militia formed in 1932 by Rockaway Village Mayor Seymour Rosenblatt, a secessionist.
C) A raft made of junk and manned by artists that floated the length of the Mississippi River to New Orleans.
D) All of the above.

35) To what was Saint Louis University Provost Joseph Weixlmann referring when he said, "Part of my frustration is that this is an important issue, it's a complicated issue, it's a multidimensional issue, and we're doing the same thing year after year"?
A) The Catholic Church's continued campaign to promote abstinence as the only safe-sex alternative.
B) The university's decision to terminate men's basketball coach Brad Soderberg.
C) His office's decision not to support a student production of The Vagina Monologues.
D) The recently healed divide between the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church over the issue of consubstantiation versus transubstantiation.

36) Why did authorities evacuate the Wright City Post Office in April?
A) A mysterious white substance was discovered in the coin-return slot of the self-service stamp machine. It was subsequently identified as talcum powder.
B) A suspicious-looking package was found to contain the horn of a black rhinoceros, an endangered species. The horn, prized by herbalists for its purported ability to revive comatose patients and cure fevers, was returned to the government of Kenya.
C) Employees heard a mysterious ticking sound coming from a package. The source was later determined to be a Winnie the Pooh telephone.
D) Wright City postmaster James McGurney likes to wear a T-shirt that says "Cranky Old Fart." One morning after a church-sponsored bean supper, he made the figurative literal.

37) To what was Governor Matt Blunt's press secretary, Jessica Robinson, referring to when she said, "It's heartbreaking that what should have been personal and precious are never going to be that way"?
A) Nude photos of herself that appeared on the Internet.
B) News that the family of Jerry Toops, superintendent of Johnson's Shut-Ins State Park, would not be reimbursed for personal items lost when the Taum Sauk Reservoir collapsed.
C) Her Social Security number.
D) News that U.S. Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa was demanding that Joyce Meyer Ministries provide the U.S. Senate Committee on Finance with detailed records and personal information.

38) What did Cardinals skipper Tony La Russa say from the back seat of a Florida police cruiser as he was being hauled in for drunk driving?
A) "Do you know who I am?"
B) "Get me So Taguchi."
C) "That's the way it fucking goes, you know?"
D) "One bourbon, one scotch and one beer."

39) Earlier this year the Wall Street Journal reported that St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke's Lindell Boulevard residence is historically significant. How so?
A) It was the setting for the real-life events that inspired William Peter Blatty's best-selling novel The Exorcist.
B) It is the house where, in the early 1900s, Mrs. Julius S. Walsh Jr. hosted the first known "cocktail party."
C) It is the site of Chuck Berry's first paying gig, a bar mitzvah party for which his band, the Sin Seekers, earned $5 apiece.
D) It is the only known example of Tiffany stained-glass windows in St. Louis.

40) Name the St. Louisan who was approached by FOX to host his own late-night talk show.
A) Mop-top about town Beatle Bob.
B) St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke.
C) TV sports announcer Joe Buck.
D) Former mayor and current Grand Center poobah Vince Schoemehl.

41) Who has federal inmate Jonathan Lee Riches, a.k.a. Jonny Sue-Nami, not named in a recent federal lawsuit?
A) Anheuser-Busch.
B) Dale Earnhardt Jr. and the NASCAR Busch Series.
C) Busch Gardens.
D) None of the above.

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